I’m very pleased to share with you a great article, along with more article links, from a fellow coach and associate, Emma Grey. She is the founder and director of WorkLifeBliss, a brilliant Canberra-based business providing individual coaching, workshops and corporate seminars on life balance, stress management and time management. Check them out at www.worklifebliss.com.au

Last week was a fairly typical one for me – some good stuff happened and there were some disappointments.

Monday – Sent newsletter, had some encouraging feedback by email (Lovely!), then two people unsubscribed from it (Eek! What am I doing wrong?)

Tuesday – Received email from literary agent saying another author had just released a trilogy for Young Adults using the same titles as my series, and that my first two books are currently either too short (as stand-alone books) or two long (as one book).  (Waaaahh!  Should I give up? Am I good enough?  What’s on Foxtel?)

Wednesday – Invited to speak at an International Women’s Day event, prompted by one of my articles.  (I can write!  Stop with the re-runs of Wife Swap!  Where’s the manuscript?)

Friday – Had an interview published about my intimate thoughts on motherhood etc (read it here) and a positive response from the Deputy Ed of Mamamia re an article submission.  (Okay, back on track now…deep breath.  I can do this.)

Coaches talk a lot about ‘managing your state’.  It’s about accepting your initial response to a trigger as valid, (for example, the ‘I-can’t-do-this’ panic if something goes wrong), then consciously replacing this with a different emotional response that will better serve, support and nourish you (eg. This is a small set-back – I’ve had set-backs before and overcame them.  What’s the next step here…)

When it comes to dealing with the ups and downs of life, we can stay marooned helplessly on a surf-board, rising on the crests of some waves, and being dumped by others. Or we can stand up on that surf-board and ride as many waves as we can – regardless of the result.

It’s not about being perfect, or always getting it right.  We’ll catch some waves brilliantly.  We’ll miss others.   We’ll fall off.  We’ll be dumped.  Resilience is about getting back on the board when things don’t go as planned, taking feedback from the last effort, starting again and doing something proactive and different that moves us closer to where we want to be.

A Facebook friend posted this over the weekend: ‘I doubt myself possibly more than is reasonable, and wonder if I’ll ever be good enough for me…’

There are times when even the most optimistic and confident amongst us could write that.  Doubt and fear and this sense of not being good enough creep through our thoughts in every sphere of our lives at various times:

• Am I good enough at work?
• Am I a good enough partner/friend?
• Am I a good enough parent?
• Do I look good enough?
• Am I healthy enough?

It’s not about avoiding these thoughts – it’s about what you do with them next.  Lie passively on your surf-board long enough, letting menacing ideas encircle you, and you’re going to get bitten.

Author Susan Jeffers says to ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’. This week, unless you are living in a perfect fairytale, a mix of things are going to happen – good stuff and disappointments.  Making the most of the week is easier if you choose to register your initial response to events, decide if it’s a helpful one or a hindrance and adjust your thinking quickly and decisively for the best possible result.

Most important of all – if something goes wrong – stand up on that surfboard anyway and catch the next wave, before that shark of doubt spots you lying there like a victim-in-waiting.

Recent articles in the media by Emma Grey:

When something isn’t right…

Call it gut instinct, intuition, a ‘funny feeling’ or a hunch – but there are times when we all get the sense that ‘something isn’t right’. I’m fascinated by the possibility that we can ‘know’ something, without knowing ‘why’ – and I love pondering the thrilling, slightly spooky idea of just how far our amazing minds could take us, if we tapped fully into the power of the subconscious … But that’s not what this article is about...  [read more]

Rockin’ Mamma interview for ‘Happy Mums at Home’…

Leave your Wonder Woman outfit for fancy dress parties.  Model for your kids that it’s okay to fall over and scuff your knees, as long as you get up again, dust yourself off, say sorry if you hurt someone and move on. Life’s not perfect, so why should motherhood be?   … [read more]

I was in a work-triangle and someone had to go …

The sick feeling in my stomach when I thought of continuing that work for another twelve months, or even another twelve minutes – was one tip-off.  The fact that my house was becoming more immaculate by the day was another.  I was doing all that I could to avoid opening that report – procrastinating, sighing, whingeing – the full suite of rebellious teen behaviour. 

I’m not a recalcitrant teenager when I’m engrossed in WorkLifeBliss  – I’m an adult who loves what she’s doing.  My house is more ‘lived in’.  I’m nicer to my family!  The business fulfils my top professional values of creativity, variety, making a difference, helping people and passion.  Suddenly, the promise of all of those extra hours a week to devote to what I love (and do) best was irresistible... [read more]

I’m not a big believer in New Year’s resolutions. While I love the passion and desire for change which typically inspires these resolutions, they are so often forgotten or packed away with the Christmas decorations in time for next year. So why do people make them year after year?

I guess it’s because there’s a grand misconception that you can really only make a fresh start and implement changes in your life once per year.

But let’s face it…how much pressure do we place on ourselves to ‘get it right’ in these critical first few weeks of the year?

Most often you are really committed in the moment when you make the resolution or promise to yourself. But much less committed and motivated when you actually have to implement it.

For some people, making a promise to make change is enough. That ticks the box of having given at least some thought to the year ahead. But for many of us, we feel even more disappointed in ourselves for not following through and actually implementing that promise. And that’s because it can be difficult, it can be scary, it can mean moving out of the chair, the comfort zone, or the office.

So instead of making New Year’s resolutions, how about committing to implementing changes all throughout the year!

Make a plan now to create the life you want – spread your goals throughout the whole year. Decide now that you are ready to take action.

3 essential steps to kick start 2012!

To help you figure out your highest priorities for attention, here are 3 questions to ask yourself and focus on what you really want in the year ahead.

Grab a pen and paper…

1.  What worked for you last year?

• Consider what went really well over the last year. Even if you didn’t achieve everything you wish you had, there were probably some highlights, so go ahead and list those
• Also think about why it went well for you?

2.  What didn’t work for you last year?

• Here it’s important to think about what could have gone better
• Without spending a lot of time on this, find your top 3 areas where there’s room for improvement

3.  And most importantly what are you going to do differently this year to improve your life (or your business)?

• I always like to think about this in terms of a simple Stop, Start & Continue idea/model
• What you are going to stop doing completely?
• What are you going to start doing?
• What are you going to continue doing (or get better at doing in 2012)?

Once you’ve answered these questions, then it’s time to start creating the goals which will bring it all to life.

If you need some help with this, then keep reading and find out about our special free coaching offer below.

Here’s to making 2012 your best year ever!

Need some help to work out your plan for 2012?

Do you have something specific, something important for you to change this year? Or maybe you’re experiencing a more general feeling of being at a cross-roads? If you want to speed up your success rate, then I’d like to help you do it with a special 1-on-1 personal “Discovery” strategy session where we’ll work together to…

• Create a crystal clear vision for ‘ultimate success’ so you know exactly what you want, where you’re headed, and what you need to do to make it happen
• Uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your ability to make changes that last or that are slowing down your progress
• Leave this session renewed, re-energized, and inspired to finally achieve the change you seek – once and for all

If you’d like to take advantage of this very special, very limited, and totally FREE 30 minute Discovery strategy session, then contact me now at info@ajilefocus.com and we will book in a time for you.

Since we don’t know how intense the response will be, we can’t guarantee a coaching session for everyone. We’ll take as many people as we can and then start a waiting list. You can expect to get contacted by our team to schedule your session within the next 3 business days.

I look forward to working with you soon!

Here’s a great article from Paul Andrew who is Founder of The Leadership Coach™. He is a Keynote Speaker and Management Consultant based in New York (and he also happens to be an Aussie with a great passion for life).

Through the years of leading people experience has taught me that there will always be armchair critics, the only question is how I will respond to them.

While I welcome constructive feedback and critical thinking from those who share my values, I have no time at all for the armchair critic.

Armchair critics are the backseat drivers of this world. Rather than do something they prefer to criticise those who do. They can usually be found in the company of other critics picking apart what people do and say, from the safety of their comfort zone.

I heard someone say recently that, “Critics are like the eunuchs in a harem – they know what you’re supposed to do, but can’t do it themselves.” Sadly for all the impotence in their actions, their words still have the power to discourage and distract you if you let them.

Truth be told, I’ve let the critics get to me too many times over the years. I got defensive. I stewed on their accusations. I got my eye off the ball and focused on the hecklers. And as long as I focused on the critics in the grandstand I couldn’t play the game on the field to the best of my ability.

I’m determined to stay open to the right opinions… the voices of those who know and believe in me.. the perspective of people working alongside me. In fact I’m in very a dangerous place as a leader if no-one can question me.

We see journalists, police officers and presidents alike weighing the value of information that comes to them on the basis of the credibility of the source themselves. A reliable source who is close to the events is a precious resource. But if the source is without credibility and proximity it’s unlikely anyone will even read their “information” let alone act on it.

So leaders, let’s develop the habit of weighing criticism according to its source before we react. And at the same time, let’s cultivate a circle of trusted advisors around us who can speak truth from a proven track record and a shared vision.

Leave the armchair critic to his armchair. It’s called a La-Z-Boy for a reason.

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt (Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910)

A HUGE thank you to everyone who supported ChickChat’s Girls Night In dinner! We had a fantastic night and we more than doubled our fundraising goal by raising $870 on the night. It’s not too late to be involved – we’d love it if you would still like to contribute at the link below

https://secure.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/registrant/welcome.aspx?EventID=39130&LangPref=en-CA&RegistrationID=371407

Your can help the Cancer Council raise money for support services and research into women’s cancers.

A very sincere thank you to everyone who has (and will) supported this great cause.

Audrey x